We’ve got two daughters, both on the autism spectrum – age 7 & 8 now. There have been many years of not enough sleep, not enough time for being a couple, not enough quiet. There is always somewhere to be and appointments to be made, discussions to be had with therapists, teachers and support groups.
At some point my husband and I realised that we were speaking different languages, communication was becoming a big issue in our relationship… or rather the lack of it. Now that we didn’t have time to spend hours together working on our relationship, things were unravelling.
We sought help with a relationship counsellor, thinking that our issues were related to investing so much time in our daughters – he working long hours to pay all the extra bills that come with autism therapies, me spending my days running them here there and everywhere and working at home to continue the therapies. Both of us too exhausted to also work on our relationship.
But it seems there might more underlying our communication, Autism is genetic, and perhaps our autistic traits are contributing to our communication issues. After all a large part of being on the spectrum is social and communication issues – both of which have a huge impact on a marriage.
So we’ve started the steps towards both of us getting assessed, it is very different to the process we went through getting our girls assessed. More of a question and answer session with the psychologist, talking about our childhood and our lives now. There have been lots of laughs as we remember odd moments and funny events.
A diagnosis won’t mean much in terms of help / support, but it could mean the strengthening of our marriage as we learn to communicate with each other in the same language.