Stuff With Thing

Lets talk about sex, autism and sex education

Posted by: Marita on: November 8, 2011

Following on from these two posts

Guest Post: The Birds and The Bees in ASD

Things I know – Sex & Autism

Ketutar made a great comment on the second post, I’m going to quote it rather than try to paraphrase…

do your daughter a favor and get a shelf of “adult books”. She will probably be more comfortable finding out the information for herself, from books and avoid “the talk” all together. Have fact books about sex and sexuality, where sex is described as something positive, normal and healthy happening between consenting adults.

Really you should read the whole comment here if you have a moment, then come back.

I’ve been thinking about this idea, letting it simmer in the back of my mind – because it is a great idea, Annie has always learned the most from books and Heidi loves to pick up books and flip through the pages and absorbs so much from the pictures – details I never even notice.

Then we saw Annie’s psych recently and she was very (very) firm about sex education and how we need to set firm guidelines and boundaries and teach our girls what is and isn’t appropriate.

The girls are only 8yo and 6yo but I’m thinking that sooner rather than later would be good to start putting out a couple of *age appropriate* books about what growing up is about, how the body works, also leaving books about strong female role models wouldn’t hurt. Being that I’m almost OCD about liking to be prepared I want to start a small collection of books for when they get older as well.

Thing is, my knowledge about such books is almost zip… “Where did I come from?” and a few books for children about mummy and daddy having a baby is about all we’ve got, along with a cool pop up book about the human body that I had as a child.

Thus I’m asking for help – suggestions of what you would add to such a collection? What would you *not* add?

8 Responses to "Lets talk about sex, autism and sex education"

I’m leaving a comment to make sure I see the suggestions! I think it is a great idea too. I really really need to get one fast about puberty. I bring things up casually but my 8yo is very modest and isn’t entirely comfortable with it. So I want to be conscious of her boundaries, I can mention stuff but I don’t think she’s gonna want any in depth discussions.

Hopefully we both get some good suggestions Leah :)

It’s not actually what you’re after, but there is a book we have which you might find useful. I THINK it’s called “Questions Children Ask” (Lara might remember the exact title) but it covers (among other things like death, family situations, illness, etc) sex and sexuality in some detail. What’s good about it is that it’s tailored to different levels of understanding (the answers are broken down ‘for a 3-5 year old’, ‘for a 6-8 year old’, ‘for a 9-11 year old’ or something along those lines) but more generally it gives you answers at a few different levels of detail which is possibly useful for tailoring answers to kids with different levels of understanding and need for detail? Not sure. The other thing is that it’s one of the rare books of that type which is fairly ‘liberal’ and ‘sex-positive’ in its outlook: e.g. it covers things like homosexuality well, and also gives answers like ‘because it feels good’ to ‘why do people have sex?’, rather than just ‘to have a baby’ or ‘because they love each other very much’ which is glib and not actually that useful, like a lot of books do. It also talks about responsibility and consequences too – I found it good anyway.

In terms of a book for them to read themselves, which has the same attitude and benefits, I’m not sure to be honest – but I’d look at the same publisher (Dorling Kindersley) they have a lot of honest, factual books targetted at different age groups and probably have something suitable.

That sounds just perfect, thanks Paul. I will look up the publisher and see what books I can get.

Everygirl is a book a read over and over from about age 8 onwards.

Thank you Fiona, I will look it up :)

[…] Thanks to @BenisonAnne on twitter for linking to this book review post after reading my post asking for help finding books about puberty: Designed for children aged five to eighteen years, it includes simply-worded stories, visuals and […]

[…] caught my eye as I was researching literature to start introducing to the girls bookshelf ” Everyone who lives in this world, whether they have sex or not, whether they desire sex or […]

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